1. Getting married is like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. 結婚就似到酒家食飯，你點了想吃的菜，但當你見到鄰桌的菜時，你會希望你點的是這桌上的菜。

2. At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger??" The other replied, "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man." 在酒會上，一位女士問另一位：「你是否把結婚介指戴錯了手指？」另一位答：「對啊！因為我嫁錯人啊！」

3. Before a man is married, he is incomplete. Then when he is married, he is finished. 一個男人結婚前，他未完整；但當他結婚後，他已「完旦」。

4. Marriage is an institution in which a man losses his bachelor's degree and the woman gets her master's status. 婚姻尢如大學，當一個男人失去他的學士學位，女人便得到她的博士學位。

5. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married??" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying for it." 小男孩問他的爸爸：「Daddy，結婚值幾多錢？」爸爸答：「我不知道！我仍然不斷在俾錢！」

6. Young son : "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad : "That happens inmost countries son." 小男孩：「我聽到人家說，在非洲一些地方，男人要到結婚一刻才認識他的妻子，是否真的，爸爸？」爸爸：「其實很多國家都有這情況的！」

7. Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and then it was too late." 曾經有個男人說：「直至我結了婚，我才知道真正發生什麼事，但也太遲了！」

8. A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives and the wife takes. 一段美好的婚姻是要有付出和收穫；丈夫付出，妻子收穫。

9. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a ten-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.>>>Affair? 當一個男人在結婚初期看來很快樂，我們知道為什麼。但當一個男人在結婚十年後仍看來很快樂，我們會問為什麼。>>>驚嚇吧？

10. Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the women listens. In the second year, the women speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. 婚姻生活很令人灰心。第一年，男人講女人聽；第二年，女人講男人聽；第二年，他們一齊講，鄰居聽。

11. After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it." 爭吵後，妻子跟丈夫說：「你知道嗎，我嫁了你實在太苯。」然後丈夫答：「我知，我曾經被愛，但從來不發現。」

12. A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified : "Wife wanted". The next day, he received hundreds letters. They all said the same thing "You can have mine." 一個男人在分類廣告上登上『求妻』。第二日，他收到過百封信，他們全部都說同一句說話：「你可以要我這個！」

13. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or his wife is new. 如果一個男人替他的妻子拉車門，你可以肯定一件事：如果車不是新的，那他的妻子便是新的。

14. A woman was telling her friend : "It is I who made my husband a millionaire. " And what was he before you married him?" the friend asked. The woman replied, "A multimillionaire." 一個女人告訴她的朋友：「我令我丈夫成為百萬富翁。」朋友問：「那你嫁他之前，他是什麼？」女人答：「千萬富翁！」